Five Failed Geek Gadgets You Don’t Want for Christmas

Five Failed Geek Gadgets You Don’t Want for Christmas

It’s Christmas morning. Uncle Ray’s already hit the sauce but to hell with him, you’ve got presents waiting! You round the corner doing about 90 and slip on your pajamas. OK calm down, nothing can go wrong on Christmas. You completely disregard the family members who have greeted you and immediately start ripping open gifts. Oh it’s gone wrong, very wrong! Your technically challenged family bought you the worst five pieces of geek gadgetry they could find.

You told them RC car. You screamed it for days, weeks, months. The one that does all the flips, with the neon colors, that can go 35mph and is street legal. Nope. Flying cockroach it is.

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You don’t understand the gift, were they trying to annoy themselves? For every half an hour charge at the docking station, you can fly the roach for five minutes. Good thing it only holds a five minute charge, you’ll be bored to tears by then anyway.

OK one down. Everyone makes mistakes! At least they didn’t get me socks this year, I specifically said no socks! You begin ripping through the bigger box; they usually hold the key. Wrapping paper aside you get that feeling you get right before you throw up. They got you a vase. Not just any vase though, a Japanese shouting vase.

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You immediately rip it open and put it too good use, directly aiming it at your parents for their clear disregard of your wishes and Christmas list. The vase works great, perfect for yelling all the curse words they had no idea you knew. You wonder if there is any other function of the vase and immediately consult the all Japanese instructions for use.

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You determine that there is no other use unless you have stars in your body that you need to regurgitate into the vase. At least if uncle Ray gets as tanked as he did last year he won’t throw up in the tree again, but inside your new Japanese yelling vase!

Ok there’s still a few more presents under there. Don’t panic. Maybe these are the joke gifts. You reach for a smaller package in your stocking. Man you love stocking stuffers, usually candy or a must-have trinket!  You tear through the packaging like a hungry dog and see M&M’s! Score at least something you can eat. As you remove more wrapping paper you are yet again brought up and let down.

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20 Comments
Mark Borg, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008

Nice article :D nice gadgets.. wouldn’t want something like that :)

Saga Heng, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008

Hilarious. Just hilarious.

Hoenhiem, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008

Cool!

mitzikaulitz, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008

funny :)

Mr Cool, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008

Really funny. Wait…that sounds like last year!!!!

Sarah M, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008

funny

Mulysalatnem, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008

I’ve got to agree on all the gift ideas except the binary LED watch; it’s actually useful if you learn how to read it. If someone got me one, i’d be overjoyed, haha. Those things are expensive!

tutor1235, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008

Too funny-I know some folks’ Christmases actually do turn out this way though. Happy Holidays!

payge, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008

now that was funny….i remember my parents giving me strange gifts and still do on occasion.merry christmas and happy new year anyway.

LIVING BY GRACE, posted this comment on Dec 25th, 2008

Cute story-telling and the binary LED watch is actually something that I would have a use for. At least it would make for a ice breaking conversation starter with someone who doesn’t read binary.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Nelson Doyle

Sotiris, posted this comment on Dec 25th, 2008

wow, nice gadgets :P

Johanan Rakkav, posted this comment on Dec 25th, 2008

Good ol’ ThinkGeek…source of those digital watches. If you know what you need and can use, it’s a great place to shop; I haven’t been disappointed yet. If I could read digital readouts, one of those watches might not disappoint me either, although even aside from that they’re rather too garish for me.

Kyuu, posted this comment on Dec 25th, 2008

Pff… the binary watches aren’t useless. One of my best friends has a binary watch, and he uses it all the time to tell the time.

Alvin Lim, posted this comment on Dec 25th, 2008

Mmm I once had a naughty idea which looks something like the first!! But that was years ago and now that I think of it, it’s quite funny. Just that…I didn’t expect someone to actually came out with that weird idea. Nice article :D

Izzy Daniels, posted this comment on Dec 25th, 2008

I personally like the look of those M&M’s though very much pointless they are lol. nice article, the pictures help me see what you were talking. I really laughed at the shouting vase

Phoenixritu, posted this comment on Dec 26th, 2008

This is very amusing. Are those gadgets for real? Not being a geek I dont know. They look crazy

Melissa Cook, posted this comment on Dec 26th, 2008

The pictures help to understand what exactly your talking about. A really interesting read.

Angelina Hutchings, posted this comment on Dec 27th, 2008

very funny

David Rix, posted this comment on Dec 29th, 2008

Wow!! I wish i had got that lot for my Christmas!!!!! Especially that watch! ;-)

Dendro Azures, posted this comment on Jan 3rd, 2009

those are funny…glad I didn’t get any…well, maybe the flying cockroach, that would be too funny to fly around.

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